Holistic Health and Me

Forgiveness

Some people are just natural ‘mover on-ers’ –people who are more likely to move quickly past negative emotions.  It’s sort of a cerebral expansion on that skill of knowing that the driver who just cut you off will be a distant memory in a couple of minutes while you continue on your merry way.  It is also a bit like a little gem that I tell my kids I have given to them–the gift of ‘Whatever’. ‘Whatever’ is a tool that is especially handy when dealing with bullies.  Kind of a modern version of “Sticks and Stones”.  I tend to let go of negative feelings and experiences and move on so fast sometimes I can hardly remember them.

A lot of people believe it is better to deeply examine and analyze emotions and feelings after something particularly not-so-good happens. You know–”process it”.  Sometimes that is a necessary step in gaining insight to what exactly it is that needs to be dealt with and ultimately forgiven.  Life Coaches can be useful guides for pinpointing personal issues and bringing them into the light in order to release them. Most of the time for me, I come to a realization and think, “Eh, it’s over. And hey, I am still okay and happy! What would be the point of wasting my energy introspecting on it?” 

So it was a bit of an epiphany when thinking about the upcoming Forgiveness Ceremony at SWIHA and taking a moment to meditate on the question, “Do I have something or someone I could forgive, release and move on from?”  The answer came quickly, “Of course I do.”  Immediately following came the real question, “Do I want to?” 

Stepping further outside of myself, I realize that yes, I am holding onto a pinch of resentment about a particular experience in my life.  This has enabled me to keep it pinned to my shoulder like a badge of righteous indignation.  I unconsciously flash it when the time seems right while reckoning memories or sharing stories of this particular time in my personal past.  I can look back and recount how I was wronged, and stick up my chin with the proper petulance and a dash of dramatic effect.  It is a subtle “I was ‘done wrong’, and wow, doesn’t that suck?!” 

But while this selfish “poor me” indulgence may have had my friends shaking their heads in support and patting my back for enduring the heartbreak, I know it is time to let go of the last shreds of this melodrama and heal.  Continuing to harbor resentment and hang onto the remaining negative feelings simply keeps the pain of it alive and allows it to be part of me.  Author Catherine Ponder said, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person by and emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”  Do I want to be emotionally linked to this person? No way!  An evening of self-reflection, inspirational music and a peaceful sense of community sounds like just the recipe to step onto the path of profound forgiveness.

So now ask yourself, “Who or what do I need to forgive? Is there a negative person, experience, or feeling in my life that I need to get free from? Something hanging around from the past that continues to be painful?” Might it be yourself that you need to forgive and release?  Whatever it is, consider bringing it to SWIHA’s Forgiveness Ceremony for an opportunity to release it, gain spiritual growth and take part in a beautiful experience.

-Merry L

Tags: Forgiveness Life coach career coach SWIHA