Transformational

Sweat Lodges and their Newly Acquired ‘Bad Name’

It’s been months since the tragic deaths in a Sedona sweat lodge last October but recently, the event was brought back into the limelight as the leader of the Spiritual Warrior retreat, James Arthur Ray, was arrested on charges of manslaughter earlier this month.

I cannot even begin to imagine the devastating loss that must still be felt by the families of the three people who lost their lives. My heart goes out to them. When I first heard the news in October, it immediately raised some fears for my own family, as my parents have been attending sweat lodges for years. In fact, I have experienced a sweat lodge myself and the stories that have been coming out in the months since the tragedy truly make me cringe. It seems one awful event has given this authentic spiritual practice  an unjust ‘bad name.’

For those unfamiliar with the tragic story, it can be summed up more or less like this – during a retreat, led by spiritual guru James Arthur Ray, a sweat lodge went horribly wrong when around 50 people were inside a 415-square-foot lodge for a two-hour ceremony. What was meant to be a spiritual experience led to the deaths of 3 people.

Participants paid between $9,000 and $10,000 for this retreat- my first thought is, ‘how can a spiritual encounter ever be bought?’ Plain and simple it should never be sold in the first place- and here began the first problem in a string of unfortunate events…

Why exactly did these people die? Many believe the sweat lodge was too crowded and reportedly during the two hours of the lodge, people were vomiting and passing out and yet were encouraged not to leave. This goes completely against my own experience in sweat lodge, as well as a common regard for health and safety, and the fact that this even took place is infuriating to me.

The tradition of sweat lodge for spiritual enlightenment began long ago as a Native American ritual. The stones were heated in a fire pit and represented the spiritual ‘fathers.’  The tribe would make a small lodge where these stones would be placed in the center and prayers and song would go up to the Spirits. It was an experience of suffering –but within reason, many felt more connected spiritually- however their lives were rarely, if ever, in danger.

This being said, my parents belong to a group of very close friends who practice the traditions of the Lakota tribe. In fact, they have been invited out to different retreats and other events on the reservations that are typically only open to Native Americans. They have been trained in the authentic ways that a sweat lodge should be run and from what I can gather, the Spiritual Warrior lodge didn’t measure up.

In my experience, it was extremely hot (of course) but I was never made to feel trapped. The heat is something that you endure as long as you can, and while there is meant to be some suffering to bring you closer to ‘the Fathers’ or ‘Spirit’ you can leave at any point. There were parts where the heat was uncomfortable enough that I curled up on the floor of the lodge and dug down into the cooler dirt for my own comfort but this was part of the whole experience and not once did I feel like I was in danger.

There are several doors – or rounds- in which air is let into the lodge before beginning a new round of prayer. During this time it is not uncommon to step out and cool off for a minute if necessary.

No one is pressuring you to stay in.

When surfing the web for even something as basic as the sweat lodge photo I posted, the first things that came up were ‘sweat lodge death,’ ‘sweat lodge guru’ and ‘sweat lodge Sedona.’

It appears to have taken one negligent  leader, nearly 50 trusting people and 3 horribly unnecessary deaths to give this ancient tradition the most horrible stigma.

I have seen the amazing benefits in my parents and all they get out of taking part in sweat lodges. From my own experience in the lodge, I learned a lot – I came to many realizations, truly personal things that I will keep with me forever, and I hope that others will be able to have similar experiences.

I want to encourage you, if you have ever been interested in trying a sweat lodge,  to still try it – just do some research on your own about how they should be run and always listen to your body and its limitations.

~Emily M

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Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010 Holistic Health, Spirituality No Comments

Life Coaching: The Truth About Lying

Countless times as parents or caregivers we have witnessed the chocolaty face saying, “I didn’t eat the candy!” Or, “It wasn’t me!” Of course we can see the truth behind it, but why do children lie? They certainly don’t come into this world knowing how to lie, but by the age of two they become experts. The truth is we all lie from time to time and for different reasons. When is it acceptable? Even more importantly, what truths can we teach our children about lying?

Many believe it’s a matter of intention. Understanding the true intention behind the lie can be the determining factor. For some, lying about how great someone looks can be perfectly acceptable. In fact, it has the potential to make someone feel good. However, denying that we spilled the grape juice on the carpet is unacceptable. What we want is to avoid the acceptance of lies and push for truth in our children. Here are some solutions that can help you do that.

Truth: Some children believe that lying is a way to avoid punishment.
Lie: It works.
Solution: Teach the importance of accepting responsibility for your own actions. Children who learn the importance of honesty have a higher level of self-esteem and more confidence in their ability to accept and cope with making mistakes. When a child lives in fear of punishment, you have lost the battle of teaching truth vs. lying.

Truth: Some children believe that lying is a way to please others.
Lie: It works.
Solution: As adults, we tend to do this often. With children, tact and respect for others’ feelings are two things that can be difficult to teach. You can teach children to use kind and gentle words when expressing honest feedback to someone. Following this honesty with a compliment is a great way to convey caring. By putting this into practice children learn that it is possible to be honest with someone without jeopardizing their security in the relationship.

Truth: Some children believe that there is a difference between a little lie and a big lie.
Lie: There is.
Solution: This is a great opportunity to teach the meaning of credibility. No matter what size the lie, it’s still a lie. Children need to learn the importance of being truthful and how the consequence of losing their credibility affects their friends and family. When someone loses trust in them due to lying, they will find it difficult to keep friendships. Isolation is the end result which has a definite impact on how they feel about themselves as individuals. Learning to maintain solid relationships is a fundamental part of building self-worth.

There are a lot of reasons for lying, but taking the time to educate children on the truths about lying is important to their moral development. When children learn to accept responsibility for their actions by telling the truth, they can better manage and cope with mistakes. Everybody makes them. So, the question is who is confident enough to tell the truth with chocolate on their face?

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Thursday, January 21st, 2010 Life Coaching No Comments
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